Summertime and the livin’ is easy

Try some of these…

This first one might sound odd but trust me, okay? It’s an awesome Summer dessert and if you’re having company this one is super sophisticated sounding, looking, smelling, all those things…

• Buy a store bought angel food cake (it’s Summer dude, don’t bake it, BUY IT, don’t be a hero)
• In a bowl put a wedge of the angel food cake.
• Pile on some fresh blackberries and sliced strawberries
• Drizzle some black cherry balsamic vinegar over this. You can buy this awesomely divine vinegar here: http://carterandcavero.com/vinegars/balsamic-vinegars (I tried to make this a live link but blogger didn't seem to like it very much so you'll have to copy/paste the link)
• Top with some whipped cream (this you can make fresh if you’re so inclined)
• Then top the whipped cream with some coarse ground walnuts.

Yeah, it’s amazing. I mean REALLY amazing. It’s also really easy to make and sounds like something a swanky restaurant would serve with some amazing marketing copy on the menu to sell it.

What kind of drink are ya gonna serve with this awesomeness? A coffee drink, natch!

Make a big ol’ jug of iced coffee well in advance (I always have this on hand).

• Put a lot of ice in a blender
• Put in two shots of vanilla vodka
• Dump in two shots of Bailey’s caramel Irish crème liquor
• Dump in 4 shots of that iced coffee
• Blend that whole thing up and serve in frosty cold stemmed glasses.

If something creamy isn’t your thing here’s a lighter alternative…

• For this one put ice in a shaker (bartending supplies, it’s that big silver cup)
• Put in that vanilla vodka (one or two shots, to taste)
• Two or four shots of that iced coffee (see above)
• Shake up the coffee and vanilla vodka until FROSTY cold then strain into a martini glass ALMOST to the top.
• Top off the glass with some vanilla seltzer (Polar makes this, good luck finding it if you’re not near a Wegman’s)

This drink is light and refreshing and you can stay awake AND get drunk, note that you may need to add your sweetener of choice to this one since there really is nothing very sweet in it but if you’re into coffee au naturel then don’t mess with the sweetener of choice.

If you’d like something fruity, frozen and fun here’s one of those…

• Put a pile of ice in your blender
• Toss in two shots of (Absolut) Mango (or Peach) vodka
• Four shots of Trop 50 orange juice (I say Trop 50 because really, you want to save those calories for the good stuff)
• A shot of peach schnapps
• Blend this up until it’s the consistency of a smoothie and serve in stemmed glasses

This one is dangerous, it tastes yummy good and is frosty cold, they go down the gullet smooth as silk and POOF you’re DRUNK! Plan to NOT drive when drinking these. Hell, plan to not do much of anything except perhaps have fun.

So those are my early-Summer dining suggestions, notice there’s no “real” food in these suggestions; if you can’t figure out how to toss a burger and/or a hot dog on your grill and make yourself a salad then you’ve got bigger problems than I can cure here.

Go forth this weekend and make merry, it’s FINALLY SUMMER.

Power Play

Gov. Christie, NJ, I’m not a fan. If you’ve seen the recent news he’s big (well, if you’ve seen his BUTT he’s BIG) in the minds of the Republican Party as a potential presidential candidate and also for his helicopter rides to his son’s little league games.

Here’s the problem. His response embodies the typical parent move these days. He’s just trying to do BOTH his jobs. Look, it was HIS CHOICE to run for governor AND it was his choice to be a dad so if you can’t juggle those two things without the assistance of a taxpayer funded helicopter then you aren’t doing a very good job at BOTH of your jobs.

Us Childfree by Choice people often feel ourselves getting’ a tad riled when a co-worker uses their children as excuses to get special privileges. The governor of NJ isn’t the only one cashing in on his “parent” status to get some extra perqs. It happens all the time when someone leaves early from work to pick up a sick child or brings their sick child to the office. There’s an expectation that those of us without kids will pick up the slack or be understanding of their special needs. I’m not. Not often anyway.

Christie just happens to be a public worse-case scenario. If he feels the need to use a state helicopter to get to a little league game then he may need to give up one job to attend to the other. I can’t stand Sarah Palin either (oh can I NOT stand that woman) but at least she had the good common sense to quit her job as governor to go after her own self-serving needs instead of cashing in on the taxpayer’s dime(s).

That leads me to another thought altogether. Why in the WORLD would anyone want to seek political office? My BA is in psychology but Oooooo how I’d love to pursue a PhD in psych and specialize in the political mind (if there actually IS one). What is it in a person that makes them want to run for office? Do they have some sort of savior complex? Do they actually believe that they’ll be the one to save the day? No politician, no matter how well he (or she) does is ever lauded as great, especially not during their time in office (sometimes not even while they’re alive). Who wants that type of job?

I really want to know the answer to this. I want some politician to dig deep down into their soul and tell me the truth. Tell me why they wanna be president or governor or even mayor but I guess the first thing they need to do is tell themselves that answer. Is anyone honest with themselves? Do they know in the pit of their soul somewhere that they’re pursuing this because of the power of the position? Are they honest enough to know that they’d enjoy the public aspect of it all?

What the fuck? Candidates, why you doin’ it? No one really makes a difference in office, you’re all tied to the system you want to change. As soon as you get into office you realizes you’re faced with insurmountable obstacles you can’t change for all the purported power in the world.

I’m not sayin’ no one should go into politics, I guess if that happened our political system would implode into itself and I’m not sure quite how I feel about that but I think all of us need to get a little more honest about those politicians we’re electing. They aren’t saints. They do dumb shit. They exploit the power of their office, they don’t have all the answers, they have their own agendas, basically it’s a hot mess that we just have to hope can be mitigated a little tiny bit with good luck and good intentions.

I still don’t like Governor Christie and Sarah Palin leaves my mouth agape but could we ALL admit that those assholes running for office will never be perfect…just like the rest of us fuck-ups?

Thanks and have a good night.

Honey or Vinegar

I honestly wasn’t going for that 20% discount. I swear I wasn’t.

I live in a rather resort-y area so the first long weekend of the pseudo-Summer (because Summer doesn’t start until late June which makes Memorial Day weekend “pseudo Summer”) is a BIG DEAL where I live. Roads are congested, bars are packed, and forget about eating in a restaurant.

Hubby and I were doing the usual early-Summer stuff of deciding what we needed, what was broken, etc. I decided to take a trip to K-mart which is pretty close-by. Sure, they must have a hammock or two and some fans and one of those glass sun tea jugs, right?

Why? Why did I think that K-mart was the answer to my needs? No hammocks, the selection of fans left much to be desired and the sun tea jugs were some hideous plastic that I couldn’t imagine drinking something from. Bad move.

I bought a few fans and some sunscreen, spent way too long in line and headed to Bed, Bath and Beyond which should’ve been my first choice anyway.

I can actually get to the Bed, Bath by me without getting onto a highway which should’ve been my first clue to why this would’ve been a better choice but I was thinking “discount store” not “pretty comforter store”.

Bed, Bath was a like a consumer’s dream date on a holiday weekend. They had a ton of staff on and each and every one of those staff members was polite, helpful and attentive without being obnoxious. It was amazing.

I buzzed through the store, I found the hammocks. They had a wide selection, hmmm. After some thought I chose the striped fabric one. I looked at their fans and immediately had buyer’s remorse about the crappy ones I just bought at K-mart but decided to soldier on. I couldn’t find any sun tea jugs so I asked an employee who, I admit, looked like he wasn’t gonna be all that helpful but to my surprise he led me directly to my desired item. AMEN!

I got to the front of the store and someone asked if I was ready to checkout and led me to a register where she cheerfully checked me out and wished me well. Truth be told the whole front-end was littered with helpful employees moving people quickly through the checkout process.

I normally go to Bed, Bath when I have one of their many, many, many 20% off coupons. They seem to send them out weekly and will honor them FOREVER (go ahead and try it, they never care if it’s expired). I had no coupons which broke my cheap little heart.

I got home and tried to put up the new hammock only to discover that the fabric seemed a bit flimsy and it was too short for our hammock frame. After a quickie beachfront bike ride I made a return trip to Bed, Bath. It was creeping up on 7PM by then and the area seemed to have slowed down to a peaceful simmer. Everyone that was on their way had arrived at their destination. The roads were passable, the stores were empty, it was delightful.

I went to the courtesy desk in Bed, Bath with my recently purchased hammock and explained that I needed to return it and why. The young man behind the counter (though quite dorky, a toast to dorks everywhere) was very pleasant and helpful. I promised him I’d be right back with my alternate hammock purchase.

On my way back a female employee asked if I needed help or was ready to checkout, I thanked her but explained I was exchanging an item. She joined the young man behind he courtesy desk and started to do some retail-ish tasks.

I asked if either of them was the store manager, the female employee said that she was the front-end manager in charge and asked if there was anything she could do for me. She did NOT ask if there was a problem which was really nice of her to not assume that everything equals a problem. I told her that all I wanted to do was let a manager know what an absolutely pleasant experience I’d had shopping in that store TWICE today. I told her that my K-mart experience was less than desirable but that my experience in that particular Bed, Bath store had been truly lovely.

During this little discourse the young man was doing my exchange, he asked if I had any coupons and I told him that, sadly, no, I had no coupons today. The manager leaned over and swiped something and punched in something and PRESTO…I had 20% off my purchase just as though I’d trotted in with one of those blue and white coupons many of us are so used to.

What was today’s lesson? That just like momma always said, “ya get more with honey than you do with vinegar”.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend and remember the people who serve this wonderful country this weekend as you enjoy your hot dogs and beer!

Shake yo’ groove thang, babeeee

I think the thing about inertia is that you don’t realize you’ve actually become inert. It’s true. When you’re in it you’re just too close to it. When you get out of it you can’t believe you didn’t notice sooner.

I just shook loose of a ten year bout of inertia. I suppose the inertia wasn’t the full ten years. The first few years I’m sure I wasn’t actually inert; you tend to achieve that state over time, it doesn’t just happen at the outset of something.

There I was plodding through the days at the same company year after year. It didn’t really hold much meaning for me. Over some time I stopped having to engage my brain each day for my job. It was just there.

Actually the only activity the job provided me was finding new and better ways to avoid it. I sought ever more creative ways to avoid going there each day. I’d look for reasons to be out of the office, sick, vacation, personal, business travel, offsite meetings, you name it I’d find it. I also noticed I’d developed a creative edge at shortening my work days, I’d come in later, leave earlier. My focus wasn’t on work but on getting out of that office as much as possible.

Coupled with that was this feeling that I couldn’t get out of that job. That I’d be left stranded, unemployed and unemployable if I left. I had this feeling that it was the last job on earth. I couldn’t leave it no matter how much I dreaded it.

Previously this was NEVER me. I would change jobs every four years or so. I was on the move, ever onward and upward but once that solid brick of inertia landed in my lap I was immobile.

I’ve officially been at a new job for just four days. It’s been nice. It really has. The benefits aren’t as good, some of the “policies” are better; there are distinct differences to be sure. One thing I need to do to complete the disconnect; I need to stop making those comparisons. It’s not the same, plain and simple. I’ve moved on. Certainly if you take into account my title and salary I’ve moved onward AND UPWARD but the most important thing right now, right this minute, is that I’ve moved ON.

What I feel more than anything else is freedom. I actually feel like I have options. It’s an odd feeling to have just started a new job but to also feel like I could move on if I had to. Right now I don’t want to but I like…no wait, I LOVE the feeling of freedom again; the feeling of being accountable to ME. My inertia at my previous job tipped the balance of power over my life away from me and onto the inertia (not really onto my previous company), I felt that I couldn’t move on, I was out of the game.

Now I feel like I’m back in the game and it feels GOOD.

I had to clean out ten years of crap from my old office. I loaded up box after box and dumped them in my car. My initial intention was to just transfer those boxes from my car to my new office but the fact was that I had no room for groceries in my car so I brought the boxes into the basement where they remain. I brought nothing into my new office from my previous life! Even that felt refreshing and new. I plan to go through the boxes and bring in select items that are useful to me. I plan to print out all new pix of the dogs to put in my office. It’s a new beginning for me.

I’m not going to claim that this is going to be perfect from a job perspective, but for right now, I feel like a new person in so many ways.

I feel like I’m shakin’ my groove thang, and I think I like it.

Random thoughts about celebrity…

I saw Ron Howard on the Today show. Ron Howard is certainly no looker but he came off as very smart and funny and kind. He clearly knows his craft on both sides of the camera. As a kid he was in everyone’s home first as that kid with the weird name, Opie, on the Andy Griffith show and then Mayberry, RFD. He went on to be everyone’s favorite nerdy teenager Richie Cunningham.

Throughout all of that he managed to learn everything about the business of making TV and movies. He married very young, by any standards but even more surprising he remains married to that same woman all these years later.

Paparazzi don’t seem to chase the Howard family around. I would imagine they could go to Target without being hassled. It would seem that they could have a carefree family dinner at the corner diner without anyone batting an eye.

He’s a hardworking man with a family. He could be any man in America with any family of many decades. One thing, though, he’s most likely really, REALLY RICH! We’re talkin’ megabucks here.

Now let’s flip this over. Brangelina. WTF? Really. I’d have to bet that Ron Howard has more financial assets than those two and yet I don’t hear about them jetsetting to a castle in France for any reason.

Brangelina often acts like it’s a hassle to be them, to have to dodge through airports with a staff to protect them; to be photographed on every family outing; all that happy horseshit.

But the reality here is that they have to love it, they must crave the attention. Neither of them have the broad range of talents that Ron Howard has (or if they do, they’re awfully good at hiding them somewhere out of view) yet their every move, their every career decision is news fodder.

If I were given the opportunity to meet one of those two famous couples and share a meal with them where we could talk about anything I would choose Mr. and Mrs. Ron Howard in a heartbeat. I’ll bet he’s got some great tales to tell and a very genuine way of telling them.

You can keep Brangelina for the headlines, that’s all they’ve got.

One Hour Photo

It’s cold here. Oh is it cold here. It’s a Friday night and I could’ve easily gone out with the girls but, frankly, just too damn cold.

Now that the C’mas holidays have come and gone we’re onto the next phase of movies to be shown on non-network channels. It appears to be the ramp-up to Valentine’s Day. It’s rom-com time on cable TV. So, trapped inside on a freezing cold Friday night with sole control of the remote I found myself watching a Sandra Bullock flick from 1998; Hope Floats.

1998 doesn’t seem all that long ago. I mean I remember this movie (as much as I remember any movie, not really being a movie person and all that). But there’s this scene in the movie when Sandra Bullock is looking for a job in her old hometown and she ends up working at a one hour photo lab. My first job was working at a similar type of photo lab, it was years ago and I thought it was the greatest job…it was the greatest job for a 16 year old. I made a lot of money for a kid and it seemed like exciting, important work. I was printing out people’s wedding photos and graduation photos and holiday photos, I had a hand in making the memories of strangers. I was 16 quite a long time ago now.

But 1998, that doesn’t seem that long ago to me. Yet there was Sandra Bullock struggling at the helm of a one hour photo shop’s printing machine.

Now this may seem like a random connection but times change. That machine was relevant just 12 years ago. Not long at all really, right?

I just read an article in The New Yorker about the US Constitution. It was eye-opening not least because it spoke to change, just like that obsolete machine in “Hope Floats”. The article talked about how few people actually know what’s in the Constitution and I realized that I was one of them. We think we know what it says but we don’t.

Even more interesting than pointing out our collective ignorance was pointing out our collective resistance to change. The Tea Party movement claims to be there to support the US Constitution and some have even offered up their own plain English interpretations of it. But what does this get us? What does it prove? I respect the founding fathers. I love that I live in America; that I grew up here. I really do love being American. Ben Franklin is mentioned in The New Yorker article delicately pointing out that what they drafted may or may not be the most perfect foundation for the new country.

It’s more than 200 years since that document started its journey. Times have changed. There have been big changes and little changes but there have been changes. I’m sure that those founding fathers really did have the best intentions at heart but even that thought gave me pause; founding fathers. Would we have that today? Women are captains of industry all over the place I’m pretty sure there wouldn’t be the just men at that table if it were happening today.

When that document, the US Constitution, was drafted boy oh boy were things different. Women weren’t CEO’s and African-Americans weren’t called that and they sure as shit weren’t President of the United States of America. But times change. Thank the heavens up above…times do change. The Tea Party doesn’t want to embrace these many and varied changes, some good, some not so good and many that the jury is still out on…but they’re happening anyway.

When this group of people want their constitution back I’m not so sure they even know what their asking for and if they do, well, does it really fit into a vastly different society? I believe that the people brave enough to form this new country were just that, brave, but brave people embrace change, they know that nothing stays the same and they work at making the changes that are inevitable be good and valuable changes.

So, I don’t miss one hour photo shops. I love digital cameras, love the freedom to snap pictures whenever I want on my phone, that phone that goes everywhere with me instead of a phone tethered to a wall in my house. Taking pictures, making those memories, used to require remembering to buy film and batteries, remembering to bring the camera along and then after all was said and done, remembering to drop that film off at the one hour shop and hoping that you got a few good shots on that roll of film.

Not anymore, just click away as long as you’ve got battery power on your droid or iPhone you’ve got the chance to capture a memory. I love it; change that makes me happy.

I want to read the Constitution now, I hear it’s just 4,400 words, I typed almost that much in an e-mail last week. I want all of the tea partiers to read it too. Then I want them to think about all the changes they’ve seen in their years on the earth. Some good, some not so good and some, well, who knows just yet, but the point is that those men who wrote that document more than 200 years ago couldn’t even imagine a one hour photo shop no less the disappearance of them all in one lifetime (mine).

SMILE, SAY CHEESE!

Why we stay

A widely circulated Gallup poll shows that people leave their jobs because of bad bosses. Bad bosses seem to be bad for business, well if you want to keep your employees and not deal with turnover and all that goes with it.

But why do people STAY at a job? I just left a company I was at for TEN YEARS. Yes, TEN YEARS. Why did I leave? Yuppers, I’m not all that original, I left because of a bad boss (or two).

I knew that I was interviewing for jobs because I had to get away from a management situation I felt was toxic to me. But there was hesitation on my part. I would get called about a job but hesitate to interview and I decided to examine why I did that.

I figured out that the main reason I was sticking around that joint was for a bunch of perks completely unrelated to the actual job. I was getting zero job satisfaction, coupled with a boss that I couldn’t stand but I was sticking around for reasons that didn’t relate to the job or my boss at all.

I was even sticking around for things I didn’t use, I just liked knowing they were THERE.

What did we get? Oh we’ve gotten things like George Forman Grills (my husband called that “small appliance Wednesday”), more fleece jackets (of increasingly fabulous quality) than I’ll ever wear, from October through the end of last year they had special events every Friday including free lunch and snacks every single Friday, stuff like designer cupcakes and three different types of brownies, chair massages and a free gift wrapping service. We were awarded points like S&H green stamps that we could use to “buy” things like jewelry and Coach bags.

The list goes on and on…

Of those things I can say that we do use the grill, I wear the fleeces, but those Friday things? Nah. I’m always watching my weight so those Friday indulgences were more of an annoyance to me, who the hell wants to wander through the pantry area and see box after box of assorted designer cupcakes? Yes, I admit I did get one of those chair massages on a Friday afternoon…but it was kinda weird to be getting a massage at 3 in the afternoon at work, I get regular massages on my own and I think I’ll keep it that way.

The reason I was staying was for silly little things, little bribes the company put out there for just that reason, to get people to stay. When I thought about it I felt sad because it hinted that maybe, just maybe they actually know that there are serious management issues and instead of fixing those it’s easier to toss another shiny gift on the heap. I felt like a little kid that was easily duped into eating their veggies in exchange for a useless plastic toy. I didn’t need another fleece jacket or even a Forman Grill. I can buy those things but my inherent human greed kept me hanging on for the next little trinket. Ooooh, shiny things…I want them.

Even as I was closing in on a real job offer, something that sounded good, a good fit for me, a step up the food chain, a challenge and all that other happy horseshit, I was still hesitating. I had to make it through the holidays, I had to see what our holiday gift would be…it’s always something fab like an iPod or iTouch so I couldn’t miss out on that could I? I strung along my new job so I could milk every last shiny treat out of them before the end of 2010. Just so ya know, the gift wasn’t even worth it in the end.

And the time off…oh the time off, I think when all was said and done I came in at nearly 8 weeks off a year and no, I’m NOT a school teacher. It was hard to cut that back to just 6 weeks or thereabouts…but maybe if I don’t hate the job as much it won’t be as painful to be there…had I even considered that? Probably not and why not? Most likely because after ten years of mostly dreading going to work it’s hard to imagine that maybe, just maybe I won’t dread the next job quite as much which will certainly make it a bit easier to NOT have to pray for the next time I can take a day or ten off.

Now that it’s over, now that I’ll be starting a new job in a few short days, I realize how stupid I’ve been. I’ve been struggling against management decisions that I’ve questioned for quite some time but like a small child I was far too enamored by the dangling treat than by the rational knowledge that I needed to get the fuck out of there.

Will my new job be perfect? Who knows? I’m sure I’ll find stuff there that I don’t’ like, I hope that doesn’t happen for a few years at the very least but whenever it happens, if its stuff that I just can’t live with, well, I hope that I don’t linger past my time just because of some fancy shiny objects dangling in my face.

Those of you in jobs you hate, suffering with a boss that is mean, stupid, unbearable or any combination of those things, ask yourselves why the hell you’re staying. If you’re there because you really can’t find something else, I’m genuinely sorry for you, I really am and I know this economy sucks but if you started to sound like me and said you were there because you got a lot of vacation time you’d accrued and you couldn’t walk away from it or you got all kinds of fancy treats then it’s time to reconsider.