Oh just me bitchin' again...

I’ve been told there are only something like seven stories to be told in fiction. That sure as shit seems about right. I’ve been reading a lot this summer. Just fun stuff, summer reads. Frankly, I’m bored. There’s romance and deceit, mystery, intrigue and murder, cheating and stealing, and let’s never forget our good buddy redemption. There are historic novels that incorporate facts into fiction; but really isn’t that the case no matter what? There’s always some pseudo-factual part of any piece of fiction unless it’s written solely about Middle Earth.

I’m big fan of J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter series. One thing I like about the Potter books is how she incorporated the current “real” world into her world of witches and wizards. When Harry, Ron and Hermione aren’t decked out in their Hogwarts attire they’re wearing jeans and sweaters, just like any other teen-ager. The witches and wizards are careful to keep their lives and activities separate from that of the muggle world (if this doesn’t make sense to you, tough shit, go read the books or stop by mugglenet.com).

When you write fiction you can write whatever you want…because IT’S FICTION! None of it is REAL. It’s all made up stories, every last bit of it. You can write about a big red dog (really BIG) or about vampires or witches or about not being an asshole in a relationship.

I know there needs to be plot devices otherwise there’s no story to read but books deemed to be “summer reads” seem to have similar plot devices. Woman is (a) suddenly single, (b) a beautiful young widow, (c) a beautiful middle-aged widow, (d) a hard-ass young woman who can’t keep a man. Said (beautiful) woman meets a handsome (a) recently widowed, (b) from her past who just lumbered back into town, (c) tough and solitary guy and they do the mating dance. They each send mixed signals to the other one. Some ancillary characters get involved who mess things up, then fix those things, then get caught up in their own troubles, then jump back in to help the couple.

Toss into the mix some pushy parents who are urging one or the other (or both) to get hitched and have babies. Add in the woman (or man) yearning to be a parent but not having the right partner yet. There are the few failed dates with “that other person” who just isn’t right because of (a) he/she is married, (b) he/she is just plain evil, (c) he/she is really in love with someone else and trying to get over them.

Maybe there’s a parent diagnosed with cancer (usually a mom with breast cancer), perhaps there’s a belligerent younger sibling that throws the whole family into a tizzy when they waltz out of town with a dangerous stranger.

I’m bored by it all. Truly, hopelessly bored.

Here’s the thing. Let me remind you again in case you forgot…IT’S FICTION. You can live out your wildest fantasies in it. You don’t have to tow the straight and narrow and yearn for babies and a settled life. You can tell everyone to fuck off when they ask when you’re gonna (a) settle down, (b) have a baby, (c) get a job or whatever. You can make every single character a different facet of yourself, even the ugly underside you never would dare show the world.

I know, I know, if I’m taking the time to write this blog post why not take the time and just write something I’d like to read, right? (WRITE?) Yeah, I know I don’t have many readers here (I can check these things, hence, I know) but even if I did…you’d notice that I haven’t posted much lately and why is that? Because it’s summer and all I really wanna do is go out and play. I’m only writing this because I’m sitting outside by the pool right now and it’s rather breezy so I’m not actually IN the pool where I normally would be…or on my bike going for a ride…or at the gym or who knows where else but not sitting at my computer writing.

A few years ago there was a series of books by the author Shanna Swendson (http://www.shannaswendson.com/index.html) , I love these books. They’re silly and magical and creative. I couldn’t wait to read the next one. The characters were lovable and annoying and kinda real in a very fanciful way. She apparently has a fifth book ready to go but no-dice on that…why? Because her third book didn’t sell well enough. So that makes me wonder if I have any clue at all what people want to read. Maybe people do want to read the same ol’ same ol’.

Alice Hoffman (http://www.alicehoffman.com/) is another author that incorporates a lot into her books…she uses magic that is just on the fringe of MAGIC. You’re almost not quite certain it’s really there…but it is. Most of you are probably most familiar with her witty and quirky title, “Practical Magic” because it was made into a movie with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock and has become a rom-com fave around Halloween. That’s the stuff I love. Alice Hoffman’s books and characters. It’s not all hearts and romance but there’s a magic that prevails.

I think that’s what’s missing for me, magic. Reading lately has been to “real”. If I wanted “real” I’d watch “jersey Shore” or the Kardashians (kidding, I know that shit ain’t real, silly). To be honest most days I think that my life is more magical than most of those summer reads I’ve dug my sandy toes into this summer (well, not quite as magical as all those books that let the heroine be blissfully un or under-employed but still have plenty of cash to live on, I do have to work for a living).

I want a heroine who truly doesn’t like babies and isn’t suddenly swayed when someone strolls by her with a little one swaddled to her chest. I want a hero who doesn’t mess around and send mixed signals, he may not be Mr. Romance but he could certainly be Mr. Reality (oh they were a WONDERFUL band in the late ‘80’s early ‘90’s…loved them, my friends and talented musicians…you can still find them on MySpace…remember MySpace? http://www.myspace.com/mrrealitynj, but I digress…). He could just tell the flighty chick that he likes her, would like to know her better and give it a go. Good Lord people; I don’t know a single person in real life that did as much “dancing” around someone as most of the morons in the books I’ve read.

I want an adult heroine’s mom to NOT be struggling with breast cancer but instead a strong, independent person who rolls her eyes at all of her needy friends begging for grandkids. Where ARE these characters? These books?

In the beginning...

There was a job. And because it was the beginning...there was just ONE job for just ONE person. And the person and the job were perfect together.

Flash forward thousands of years. Imagine that you envisioned the perfect job for you how would you go about getting it or even making it known that this "perfect job" exists? Could you write your perfect job description (and oh don't get me started on job descriptions)? What about after performing this perfect job for a while it's no longer a good fit? How do you make that adjustment? Do you turn this job over to someone who is now the perfect fit and you write a new one for yourself or do you re-write the job to fit you better?

I don't think many of us have this luxury. I think that some of us manage to wedge ourselves into a job that appears "okay" to us and to the HR person sifting through piles of resume. Some of us don't even know what a perfect job would be so any ol' job that is reasonably inoffensive and pays the bills does just fine. I question what would be the perfect job for me. It seems attractive to work from home but I don't know if that would wear thin sometime around week four after I hadn't showered for several successive days and was starting to think I was cutting a fine figure in flannel jammie pants and a tattered flannel shirt. I've always thought that working in animal rescue full-time (this is assuming that the money for this would come from somewhere) would be rewarding and desirable but then I think of the heartbreak that would accompany it and I wonder how long it would be before the heartbreak would become unbearable.

I think that we all want to do a lot of different things. I do. I want to do a lot of different things and reap financial rewards for doing them. I want to write for a living but not all of the time. I want to be a public speaker, imparting words of wisdom humorously and with passion...but not all the time. I want to do animal rescue including speaking and educating people about the need to spay/neuter your pet, get them vaccinated and feed them appopriately, but again, not all the time.

I want a portion of these jobs. Maybe the animal rescue job includes giving talks to PTA meetings about the need to spay/neuter but it also includes the heartbreak of deciding if a dog is vicious and needs to be put down. Guess what? I want the public speaking part. But remember a lot of people would HATE the public speaking part, they have what it takes to handle the tough decisions but they'll never be coaxed up in front of an audience, no way, no chance, no how.

In consulting companies I know there are a number of people compiling the facts and figures and loving it but they don't want to get up in front of an audience and defend those numbers, but I'd like that.

Writing, hmmm, that one's a bit tougher. That one I want to do for fun, for money, for recognition. But how do I write that job description and then FILL IT? Tough challenge but others have done it before me. Some seem to do it with ease; maybe they're fearless. Maybe they don't worry all the time about money, maybe they laugh rejection in the face and keep moving, fast and furiously.

This blog feels like I'm rationalizing writing by writing. Hmmmm. I'm not tackling topics (well I am but not really moving forward) but writing about business beefs (of which there are many, I'll admit). Writing is exercising our observation skills and then some; and I observe, oh yes I do. I observe all sorts of things that I could and SHOULD convert to something more but instead I'm tickling the keyboard here pondering the vast confusion of corporate life.

To be honest...corporate life kinda sucks. It does. Now if I ever get any readers some of you may want to dispute this point with me and I'm good with that. Go ahead, dispute away, someone better be able to defend corporate life because if not we've got more people than I could've imagined working at jobs they either hate or find completely meaningless.

America used to be a manufacturing society. We MADE THINGS. MADE IN THE USA! Now, we don't make things. Near where I live there used to be several factories, now there are NONE. It's unimaginable. The loss of factories seems to have taken the middle class with it. In the past a factory job could provide a very nice salary, some good benefits and job security. There was shift work which kept other things in the local economy going; things like 24 hour diners. You might get out of work at 7AM and go for some bacon and eggs with a few co-workers before heading home and sleeping off a night of work. Now, even the diners aren't open 24 hours anymore.

Factory work provided a sense of satisfaction at having a hand in making something as well as the satisfaction of providing for your family without bringing your work home with you. Corporate workers talk about work/life balance all the time but then expect everyone to tote around a blackberry and start the day by answering e-mails before leaving the house. The real work/life balance would come by being able to walk out the door after 8 hours and not have to give another thought to your job until you walked back in the door the next day. What a joy that would be. Wow! No e-mails to check or meetings to worry about.

We need to make things again. We need to give people the option to earn a living without sacrificing their soul to corporate life. What does corporate America make? It makes "decisions" I suppose but decisions are often flawed and biased, imperfect as the humans that we are.

Imagine going to a meeting and deciding NOT to play the game. To let go of YOUR agenda and really listen to everyone else's and then side with the one that sounds the best, REALLY THE BEST and despite whatever consequences you might experience for speaking up you do it. You say, "s/he's RIGHT...I want to do THAT!" Could be really liberating or maybe it would get you fired...

Make something today. Make a cake. Make a story. Make love. Make a mess. Make art. For heaven's sake make a FRIEND if that's the only thing you can make.