I recently participated in a Scarborough Research survey. I wasn't going to, it seemed invasive but then I thought of all the times that I heard about a survey in the news and when I didn't agree with the results my knee-jerk response would be "no one asked ME" so someone was asking, I thought I'd answer.
The gentleman conducting the survey was a sweet, friendly guy. I chatted him up quite a bit which I'm sure negatively impacted his call time since the objective of any of these positions is to get people OFF the phone but I figured I wasn't giving in THAT easily, he'd have to put up with my corny jokes and reading recommendations (also I had already polished off a beer and was feeling friendly).
The survey was fine, I answered honestly and could see how some of the survey results we see published in the media end up the way they do. There were questions like "Do you think there's too much sex on TV?" The problem was that the only answers were "yes" or "no" and honestly "I don't care" would've been my true response. Saying "yes" made me sound like a member of the "Million Moms" (crazypants) group (newsflash, I'm not even a mom) and saying "no" kinda made me sound like a pervert. "I don't care" would've been more accurate; without that option I chose the pervert route.
There were other minor flaws in the survey questions and their proposed answers but none that were really offensive, they were mostly just dopey omissions of what a real answer (at least for me) would've been. It highlighted the flaws of survey research.
Then it was time for him to gather the demographic info, household income, own or rent, value of home, number of children under 18 living in the home, number of children over 18 but under 26 living in the house, and all that other happy horseshit. We were wrapping up when this question came over the phone line:
"What ethnic group do you identify yourself with?"
This was EASY. Oh yeah, no question about that one, I'm American. I am. My mom was in The Mayflower Society and The Daughters of the American Revolution. My family has been on these shores long enough to have intermarried and crossbred enough times to identify with an American ethnicity.
American wasn't an option.
I kid you not.
He kept prompting me for something more specific. What kind of food did we eat growing up? Mac and cheese, hot dogs and hamburgers, pork chops and chicken cutlets, salads made with iceberg lettuce and fresh jersey tomatoes, grilled cheese and tomato soup. We ate American food.
What languages did my grandparents speak? Huh? They spoke English…American English.
I finally gave the guy several answers, none of which I was happy with.
This ate away at me for the past few days and I finally sent Scarborough Research an e-mail explaining to them just what I've explained to you. I'm American. My name is American. My mom was born in da' Bronx, NYC. My dad was born in North Jersey, at home. I'm from HERE. Right here. I knew how to take the bus to NYC by the time I was 8 years old. I knew how to ride the subway. I knew where to get the best New York style cheesecake in NYC and in No. Jersey. I knew where to get an Italian hot dog or a Texas weiner (it's a way of serving a hot dog, trust me here). I have several wonderful recipes for mac and cheese.
I'm offended. Not just for me but for anyone who does identify as American, just like me. American.
I might be a bleeding heart liberal and have friends that are hardcore conservatives but the thing that allows us to have lively debates and remain friends, is that we're American.
I can't wait to hear back from Scarborough Research. I've asked them to add American as an ethnic choice and to be sure to update my survey answers to accurately reflect that response.
So, what ethnic group do YOU identify with?
PS: This blog post is dedicated to my mom who died approximately 2 ½ years ago. Mom and I didn't see eye-to-eye on most things and to say we had a contentious relationship would be an understatement but I know that she'd agree with every word I just wrote.
