I’ve been told there are only something like seven stories to be told in fiction. That sure as shit seems about right. I’ve been reading a lot this summer. Just fun stuff, summer reads. Frankly, I’m bored. There’s romance and deceit, mystery, intrigue and murder, cheating and stealing, and let’s never forget our good buddy redemption. There are historic novels that incorporate facts into fiction; but really isn’t that the case no matter what? There’s always some pseudo-factual part of any piece of fiction unless it’s written solely about Middle Earth. I’m big fan of J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter series. One thing I like about the Potter books is how she incorporated the current “real” world into her world of witches and wizards. When Harry, Ron and Hermione aren’t decked out in their Hogwarts attire they’re wearing jeans and sweaters, just like any other teen-ager. The witches and wizards are careful to keep their lives and activities separate from that of the muggle world (if this doesn’t make sense to you, tough shit, go read the books or stop by mugglenet.com).
When you write fiction you can write whatever you want…because IT’S FICTION! None of it is REAL. It’s all made up stories, every last bit of it. You can write about a big red dog (really BIG) or about vampires or witches or about not being an asshole in a relationship.
I know there needs to be plot devices otherwise there’s no story to read but books deemed to be “summer reads” seem to have similar plot devices. Woman is (a) suddenly single, (b) a beautiful young widow, (c) a beautiful middle-aged widow, (d) a hard-ass young woman who can’t keep a man. Said (beautiful) woman meets a handsome (a) recently widowed, (b) from her past who just lumbered back into town, (c) tough and solitary guy and they do the mating dance. They each send mixed signals to the other one. Some ancillary characters get involved who mess things up, then fix those things, then get caught up in their own troubles, then jump back in to help the couple.
Toss into the mix some pushy parents who are urging one or the other (or both) to get hitched and have babies. Add in the woman (or man) yearning to be a parent but not having the right partner yet. There are the few failed dates with “that other person” who just isn’t right because of (a) he/she is married, (b) he/she is just plain evil, (c) he/she is really in love with someone else and trying to get over them.
Maybe there’s a parent diagnosed with cancer (usually a mom with breast cancer), perhaps there’s a belligerent younger sibling that throws the whole family into a tizzy when they waltz out of town with a dangerous stranger.
I’m bored by it all. Truly, hopelessly bored.
Here’s the thing. Let me remind you again in case you forgot…IT’S FICTION. You can live out your wildest fantasies in it. You don’t have to tow the straight and narrow and yearn for babies and a settled life. You can tell everyone to fuck off when they ask when you’re gonna (a) settle down, (b) have a baby, (c) get a job or whatever. You can make every single character a different facet of yourself, even the ugly underside you never would dare show the world.
I know, I know, if I’m taking the time to write this blog post why not take the time and just write something I’d like to read, right? (WRITE?) Yeah, I know I don’t have many readers here (I can check these things, hence, I know) but even if I did…you’d notice that I haven’t posted much lately and why is that? Because it’s summer and all I really wanna do is go out and play. I’m only writing this because I’m sitting outside by the pool right now and it’s rather breezy so I’m not actually IN the pool where I normally would be…or on my bike going for a ride…or at the gym or who knows where else but not sitting at my computer writing.
A few years ago there was a series of books by the author Shanna Swendson (http://www.shannaswendson.com/index.html) , I love these books. They’re silly and magical and creative. I couldn’t wait to read the next one. The characters were lovable and annoying and kinda real in a very fanciful way. She apparently has a fifth book ready to go but no-dice on that…why? Because her third book didn’t sell well enough. So that makes me wonder if I have any clue at all what people want to read. Maybe people do want to read the same ol’ same ol’.
Alice Hoffman (http://www.alicehoffman.com/) is another author that incorporates a lot into her books…she uses magic that is just on the fringe of MAGIC. You’re almost not quite certain it’s really there…but it is. Most of you are probably most familiar with her witty and quirky title, “Practical Magic” because it was made into a movie with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock and has become a rom-com fave around Halloween. That’s the stuff I love. Alice Hoffman’s books and characters. It’s not all hearts and romance but there’s a magic that prevails.
I think that’s what’s missing for me, magic. Reading lately has been to “real”. If I wanted “real” I’d watch “jersey Shore” or the Kardashians (kidding, I know that shit ain’t real, silly). To be honest most days I think that my life is more magical than most of those summer reads I’ve dug my sandy toes into this summer (well, not quite as magical as all those books that let the heroine be blissfully un or under-employed but still have plenty of cash to live on, I do have to work for a living).
I want a heroine who truly doesn’t like babies and isn’t suddenly swayed when someone strolls by her with a little one swaddled to her chest. I want a hero who doesn’t mess around and send mixed signals, he may not be Mr. Romance but he could certainly be Mr. Reality (oh they were a WONDERFUL band in the late ‘80’s early ‘90’s…loved them, my friends and talented musicians…you can still find them on MySpace…remember MySpace? http://www.myspace.com/mrrealitynj, but I digress…). He could just tell the flighty chick that he likes her, would like to know her better and give it a go. Good Lord people; I don’t know a single person in real life that did as much “dancing” around someone as most of the morons in the books I’ve read.
I want an adult heroine’s mom to NOT be struggling with breast cancer but instead a strong, independent person who rolls her eyes at all of her needy friends begging for grandkids. Where ARE these characters? These books?
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