Not that you asked

I'm a home fashions freak. I love 'em. I even used to work in the home fashions industry (oh those were the good ol' days).

Because of my home fashions freakishness I have certain rules that I propose are the BEST rules and we should all live by them.

These occurred to me yesterday while I was making the bed and I needed a forum to share them, where better than my own blog.

First of all, sheets should always be 100% cotton and the highest thread count you can afford. Seriously, you spend roughly one third of your life in bed, make sure you're comfy. Sheets should ONLY be solid colors…NO CHEESY PRINTS! They should be a pale color but NOT WHITE. White can quickly become dingy looking unless you're careful and who needs to be THAT careful with sheets. I prefer beige sheets but pale (REALLY PALE) blue or green will work as well.

If you want to "dress up" your bed don't do it with the sheets, do it with an awesome comforter and curtains. Now that we're on the topic of comforters, do yourself a favor and buy several nice cotton comforters to switch around…don't get a big-ass puffy thing. Really, don't. Marshall's (Home Goods) has awesome prices and a great selection of cotton comforters. It makes for a nice "top of bed" look and also allows room for layering. In the winter you can pile on some nice cotton blankets and in the warmer months pare down to just the sheets and comforter.

Oh, speaking of cotton blankets. Don't buy those open weave things. First of all, if you have a pet that might occasionally spend some quality time in bed with you those open weave things can be a hazard when they get caught on your little muffin's collar. Be careful with that shit folks.

When I say cotton blankets I mean some nice, solid, flannel, 100% cotton blankets (try Overstock.com). Here's the thing, by using all that awesome cotton you seriously mitigate the static electricity conundrum which further enhances the comfort factor because you won't be snap, crackle, and poppin' every time you roll over in bed.

To review, high thread count 100% cotton sheets in pale colors, cotton comforter, solid cotton blankets. No patterned sheets…ever…no lace edged sheets…ever.

Despite the fact I have no kids that hasn't stopped me from having some words of wisdom about your kid and his/her bedding as well (shut up and listen).

First of all, when your little darling is ready to toddle from the comforting nest of his or her toddler bed don't waste the time, money or effort buying a stupid twin sized bed. Seriously, why? The ONLY reason you shouldn't buy a double bed is if you truly don't have the room to put anything larger than a twin bed. That's it your only excuse.

Here's the thing. If you buy a twin bed and your little darling actually ever leaves the nest and needs to furnish their first home it might be nice if they can mitigate the initial furniture costs by at the very least having an adult-sized bed to start their adult journey. Of course if your little offspring doesn't want to bring along their awesome childhood furniture a double bed in your newly vacated guest room makes a helluva lot more sense than a twin bed. I mean imagine hosting your college roomie for a fun weekend and putting her up in a room with a twin bed. So not cool. Seriously.

So if you go directly from the racecar shaped toddler bed to a double bed you're setting yourself up for the future instead of wasting money on that dopey twin bed.

Now that we've got the actual bed size out of the way…let's move onto bedding. The same rules apply here as above. I know that your sweet little lovebug will want a variety of age-specific themed bedroom crap as they march their way through the stages of their lives and it is up to you, dear parent, to indulge these whims. I'm not gonna dis that but I AM gonna give you some tips to do it right.

DO NOT BUY CHARACTER SHEET SETS! No, just no.

First of all, character sheets usually are NOT 100% cotton and they feel like SANDPAPER. Buy the top-of-bed stuff to match your little one's whim and stick to the original sheet rules above especially since kiddie whims can change pretty quickly and good sheets should hang in there longer than a kiddie whim for dinosaurs or Dora. Literally, one day your kid is, well, a LITTLE KID and the next day she's a tween (or even a TEEN). One day she's happy to have a pepto pink bedroom and a "My Little Pony" comforter (but NOT sheets) and the next day she wants everything to be BLACK.

No, it isn't advisable to switch those pink walls to black but you can at least quickly switch out that "My Little Pony" comforter to a plain black one for about $50 and a trip to Marshall's or Target. Even those lovely pale pink sheets on the bed can quickly be hidden by simply buying new PILLOWCASES! That's right folks. Buy some nice pillowcases, again overstock.com is a good option for this but if you're in a hurry Marshall's will do just fine. So the sheets (still in good shape because you bought high-quality ones) can stay on the bed tucked discreetly under that new black comforter…and all you have to do is buy some pale gray (soft) pillowcases and that's all your little punk will see now.

Makes sense, right? Of course it does.

And remember, your local animal shelter will love getting your old castoff blankies and comforters for their adoptable cats and dogs to use as beds and nests so EVERYONE WINS!