Conflict is the key ingredient when writing something for readers to embrace. This is the overall understanding in the writing world. A reader wants to have something to cheer for and if things are going smoothly and the “hero” doesn’t have to traverse through any forests peppered with rodents of unusual size (RUS’s) then the hero is just some insanely lucky person that a reader can’t possibly identify with because let’s face it, life sucks. Everyone has something about their life that they believe SUCKS. I know, hard to believe but it’s true and we want what we read to be just a little close to real life, of course in real life things usually suck more than on the written page (or eBook) but that’s why we read or watch TV or see movies, we want the ending that we can’t guarantee in real life.
So I wrote the following quickie piece (and by “quickie” I mean I wrote it as fast as I could type it so please be kind) as a joke to a friend of mine about what dating would be like in the perfect world (just to be clear, neither of us are “dating” both of us are in permanent relationships)….
So I wrote the following quickie piece (and by “quickie” I mean I wrote it as fast as I could type it so please be kind) as a joke to a friend of mine about what dating would be like in the perfect world (just to be clear, neither of us are “dating” both of us are in permanent relationships)….
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Sara stopped in a flower shop on a whim walking home from work and while there a handsome man in a business suit breezes in the door and engages the shopkeeper in friendly banter while Sara stealthily gazes at him under shaded lids. He picks out a cheerful array of seasonal flowers while Sara thinks wistfully of how lucky his wife/girlfriend is to have him. Just outside the door he accidentally drops his credit card/wallet/iPhone/blackberry/something-that-personally-identifies-him and Sara picks it up. She finds his business number and he just happens to work nearby. She calls and leaves a voicemail at his office figuring he'll be relieved to hear it first thing in the morning but much to her surprise her cell phone rings 20 minutes later and it's HIM. He checked his work voicemail to see if anyone had found his [insert item here] and wanted to arrange to meet her to get it back and reward her for her efforts. He asks if she’s available to meet for coffee in 1/2 an hour at that cute little cafe near the flower shop. She agrees to meet him there while wondering what his wife/g'friend will think about him running back out after just coming home with the flowers. She fluffs her hair and changes into something cute but casual like this type of thing happens on any given weeknight then she sets out for the walk to the cafe a short 4 blocks away. As she’s walking there she notices the shoulders of a man in front of her, he's cutting a fine figure in his casually hanging Levi's and denim shirt on this unseasonably warm March evening and Sara’s happy to enjoy the view while wrapped in her own thoughts until she notices that he just turned into the cafe where she’s headed. She walks in a few paces behind him and realizes it's that guy from the flower shop. He takes one look and says with a twinkle in his eye "lemme see, an iced caramel latte and cinnamon biscotti, right?" How did he KNOW that? It's her absolute favorite treat when she wanders over here doing evening errands. Sara nods her head and grabs the table for two by the window as he comes up behind her. The conversation is immediate and easy and it's as if they've known each other since childhood, laughing and talking and sharing little life tidbits. The question of a wife or g'friend doesn't come up but the hour is getting late, she’s nearly forgotten to hand over [forgotten item] and she comes across it as she rummages in her bag for a few dollars to give him for the latte and biscotti. She takes the [forgotten item] out and giggles as she says, “oops I nearly forgot this was why we met up tonight”. He takes it from her and thanks her again for so kindly finding him and returning it and waves off the offer of money. He tells her that he doesn't think a latte and biscotti is enough of a reward for her efforts but he doesn't want to impose on her life to request another evening out, this time over dinner. She tells him she'd generously give over another evening to him if he was offering to pay for dinner.
Sara still isn't so sure about that wife/g'friend. Through the hours of chatting as the cafe filled and emptied around them he talked about his career and his education and his hobbies, where he was from and where he lives now but wife/g'friend didn't factor in. She feels that she must bring up the flowers and blurts out, "so do you often frequent flower shops on your way home from work?" His eyes cloud over a bit and some of the humor drains out of them and she thinks, oh lord, here it comes, the sickly wife at home or the demanding wife that never thinks he's good enough or the g'friend who's pining for an engagement ring but he just can't commit to her. When their eyes meet up again he says that his dad had recently passed away and his mom and dad had been together their whole lives and his mom is just wilting with the loss of her best friend, her lover, her other half and she was visiting him for a week and he brought her the flowers to try to brighten her day. She'd be moving on at the end of the week to stay a week with his brother up in Boston; coming from a big family had its advantages when it comes to keeping mom's mind off the loss of dad. He apologized for bringing things down but that was the reality of it and after all she did bring up the flowers he bought. Just as quickly he tries to switch things back to the happy place they were at a few moments ago. He asks if Saturday night for dinner would be too much to request of her time, it's just that his mom would be leaving Saturday morning and that would be the best opportunity for him to relax over dinner with her. She doesn’t want to seem to desperate as to be available on a Saturday night but since she told him she was new in the area it wouldn't seem too pathetic so she accepts his Saturday night offer and then he asks for her cell phone and enters his name and phone numbers into her contacts and offers her his phone to do the same. She takes his iPhone hesitantly and enters her name and numbers. They stand up together and without even noticing it he is helping her shrug into her worn old denim jacket and the two of them head for the door together. She heads towards home and he walks along next to her as they lapse back into a steady conversation. She realizes that he's walking her home and looks up at him and he says, "well of course I'm walking you home, didn't you realize that we only live a block away from each other, AND my mother did raise a gentleman, you know?" There's no awkwardness at her door, he waits for her to let herself in and says he'll call on Friday afternoon, to finalize the Saturday night plans. She tells him she’s looking forward to hearing from him, and she really is.
Friday comes and he calls just as promised. He's made reservations at a wonderful bistro owned by a friend of his. They serve eclectic food and he's sure there’s something on the menu she'll enjoy. He tells her to dress casual and he'll pick her up at her house. Saturday goes quicker than expected, doing errands, getting a mani-pedi in town, dropping off dry cleaning picking up the cat's meds. He's there on time and looking casually handsome. Dinner is great and his friend showers excellent but discreet service on the two of them.
By Sunday morning she’s convinced this guy is too good to be true. He calls around noon and says that he usually takes his dog to the park on nice days to play some Frisbee and was wondering if she'd like to join them. She agrees but mostly to get to the bottom of "Mr. Perfect". He pops by with his big mutt of a dog who's happily toting his Frisbee in his mouth. At the park she exhibits her own expert Frisbee skills and laughs and has too much fun to approach the subject of why "Mr. Perfect" is wandering the streets of suburban Maryland unfettered and free. On the way home he asks if she'd like to stop at the nearby burger joint with outside seating so that the dog can join them. With no other plans on the horizon and hours of running around and playing Frisbee in the park having worked up a hearty appetite she says, "sure, I'm starving". Finally over dinner she lays it out there, "hey, you're a little too good to be true, what's the deal? You wanted on murder? You already have several wives across the country? Spill it mister". He laughs and tells her that he isn't THAT perfect. He was almost married once but she got swept off her feet by a job offer in another city and he was entrenched in a job in the DC area. They tried to keep it together long distance but she ultimately moved on. Since then he's dated but knows that when he marries it will be for life because of the great foundation he had from his mom and dad. He tells her that he found her interesting and honest that first evening over coffee and he hoped the two of them could see what would come next for each other. He explained that it wasn't all as easy for a guy as it seems since he's in his 40's and never been married women think that he’s possibly too damaged (which he isn’t). Also, he doesn't come with a lot of baggage, no kids (lots of nieces and nephews scattered across the US but no kids of his own). His career has finally settled into a healthy pattern where he doesn't need to be there 15 hours a day. He asks for more details about her and she tells him about her ex-husband and the job she just left behind and how she’s now paving her own way in a new place and new home. He laughs, tells her that he likes her and asks if its okay if they both wait and see what may come of things. She agrees that she’s having too much fun with him to turn down that offer.
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Sara stopped in a flower shop on a whim walking home from work and while there a handsome man in a business suit breezes in the door and engages the shopkeeper in friendly banter while Sara stealthily gazes at him under shaded lids. He picks out a cheerful array of seasonal flowers while Sara thinks wistfully of how lucky his wife/girlfriend is to have him. Just outside the door he accidentally drops his credit card/wallet/iPhone/blackberry/something-that-personally-identifies-him and Sara picks it up. She finds his business number and he just happens to work nearby. She calls and leaves a voicemail at his office figuring he'll be relieved to hear it first thing in the morning but much to her surprise her cell phone rings 20 minutes later and it's HIM. He checked his work voicemail to see if anyone had found his [insert item here] and wanted to arrange to meet her to get it back and reward her for her efforts. He asks if she’s available to meet for coffee in 1/2 an hour at that cute little cafe near the flower shop. She agrees to meet him there while wondering what his wife/g'friend will think about him running back out after just coming home with the flowers. She fluffs her hair and changes into something cute but casual like this type of thing happens on any given weeknight then she sets out for the walk to the cafe a short 4 blocks away. As she’s walking there she notices the shoulders of a man in front of her, he's cutting a fine figure in his casually hanging Levi's and denim shirt on this unseasonably warm March evening and Sara’s happy to enjoy the view while wrapped in her own thoughts until she notices that he just turned into the cafe where she’s headed. She walks in a few paces behind him and realizes it's that guy from the flower shop. He takes one look and says with a twinkle in his eye "lemme see, an iced caramel latte and cinnamon biscotti, right?" How did he KNOW that? It's her absolute favorite treat when she wanders over here doing evening errands. Sara nods her head and grabs the table for two by the window as he comes up behind her. The conversation is immediate and easy and it's as if they've known each other since childhood, laughing and talking and sharing little life tidbits. The question of a wife or g'friend doesn't come up but the hour is getting late, she’s nearly forgotten to hand over [forgotten item] and she comes across it as she rummages in her bag for a few dollars to give him for the latte and biscotti. She takes the [forgotten item] out and giggles as she says, “oops I nearly forgot this was why we met up tonight”. He takes it from her and thanks her again for so kindly finding him and returning it and waves off the offer of money. He tells her that he doesn't think a latte and biscotti is enough of a reward for her efforts but he doesn't want to impose on her life to request another evening out, this time over dinner. She tells him she'd generously give over another evening to him if he was offering to pay for dinner.
Sara still isn't so sure about that wife/g'friend. Through the hours of chatting as the cafe filled and emptied around them he talked about his career and his education and his hobbies, where he was from and where he lives now but wife/g'friend didn't factor in. She feels that she must bring up the flowers and blurts out, "so do you often frequent flower shops on your way home from work?" His eyes cloud over a bit and some of the humor drains out of them and she thinks, oh lord, here it comes, the sickly wife at home or the demanding wife that never thinks he's good enough or the g'friend who's pining for an engagement ring but he just can't commit to her. When their eyes meet up again he says that his dad had recently passed away and his mom and dad had been together their whole lives and his mom is just wilting with the loss of her best friend, her lover, her other half and she was visiting him for a week and he brought her the flowers to try to brighten her day. She'd be moving on at the end of the week to stay a week with his brother up in Boston; coming from a big family had its advantages when it comes to keeping mom's mind off the loss of dad. He apologized for bringing things down but that was the reality of it and after all she did bring up the flowers he bought. Just as quickly he tries to switch things back to the happy place they were at a few moments ago. He asks if Saturday night for dinner would be too much to request of her time, it's just that his mom would be leaving Saturday morning and that would be the best opportunity for him to relax over dinner with her. She doesn’t want to seem to desperate as to be available on a Saturday night but since she told him she was new in the area it wouldn't seem too pathetic so she accepts his Saturday night offer and then he asks for her cell phone and enters his name and phone numbers into her contacts and offers her his phone to do the same. She takes his iPhone hesitantly and enters her name and numbers. They stand up together and without even noticing it he is helping her shrug into her worn old denim jacket and the two of them head for the door together. She heads towards home and he walks along next to her as they lapse back into a steady conversation. She realizes that he's walking her home and looks up at him and he says, "well of course I'm walking you home, didn't you realize that we only live a block away from each other, AND my mother did raise a gentleman, you know?" There's no awkwardness at her door, he waits for her to let herself in and says he'll call on Friday afternoon, to finalize the Saturday night plans. She tells him she’s looking forward to hearing from him, and she really is.
Friday comes and he calls just as promised. He's made reservations at a wonderful bistro owned by a friend of his. They serve eclectic food and he's sure there’s something on the menu she'll enjoy. He tells her to dress casual and he'll pick her up at her house. Saturday goes quicker than expected, doing errands, getting a mani-pedi in town, dropping off dry cleaning picking up the cat's meds. He's there on time and looking casually handsome. Dinner is great and his friend showers excellent but discreet service on the two of them.
By Sunday morning she’s convinced this guy is too good to be true. He calls around noon and says that he usually takes his dog to the park on nice days to play some Frisbee and was wondering if she'd like to join them. She agrees but mostly to get to the bottom of "Mr. Perfect". He pops by with his big mutt of a dog who's happily toting his Frisbee in his mouth. At the park she exhibits her own expert Frisbee skills and laughs and has too much fun to approach the subject of why "Mr. Perfect" is wandering the streets of suburban Maryland unfettered and free. On the way home he asks if she'd like to stop at the nearby burger joint with outside seating so that the dog can join them. With no other plans on the horizon and hours of running around and playing Frisbee in the park having worked up a hearty appetite she says, "sure, I'm starving". Finally over dinner she lays it out there, "hey, you're a little too good to be true, what's the deal? You wanted on murder? You already have several wives across the country? Spill it mister". He laughs and tells her that he isn't THAT perfect. He was almost married once but she got swept off her feet by a job offer in another city and he was entrenched in a job in the DC area. They tried to keep it together long distance but she ultimately moved on. Since then he's dated but knows that when he marries it will be for life because of the great foundation he had from his mom and dad. He tells her that he found her interesting and honest that first evening over coffee and he hoped the two of them could see what would come next for each other. He explained that it wasn't all as easy for a guy as it seems since he's in his 40's and never been married women think that he’s possibly too damaged (which he isn’t). Also, he doesn't come with a lot of baggage, no kids (lots of nieces and nephews scattered across the US but no kids of his own). His career has finally settled into a healthy pattern where he doesn't need to be there 15 hours a day. He asks for more details about her and she tells him about her ex-husband and the job she just left behind and how she’s now paving her own way in a new place and new home. He laughs, tells her that he likes her and asks if its okay if they both wait and see what may come of things. She agrees that she’s having too much fun with him to turn down that offer.
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I’ll bet that every one of you that made it to the end of that was waiting for the other shoe to drop weren’t you? You know in your heart of hearts that something bad has to happen even if the ending fulfills all of your romantic dreams there just MUST be some glitch along the way to trip things up because that’s how life works, right? Her sister shows up a few months into things, she’s just left her husband and has no place else to turn and slowly she start to turn the head of “Mr. Perfect” or HIS sister shows up and Sara mistakes her to be some long lost lover and stops taking his calls (this ploy always irritates me in romantic comedies, really people if you’re an adult you’ll know better than to jump to a weird conclusion).
Okay there’s hundreds, maybe millions of scenarios I could paint into that scenario but no one would keep reading if they just continued to date for about 8 months then got engaged quietly at a private New Year’s Eve celebration, planned a lovely small wedding for the following June and lived happily ever after. For some reason that just ISN’T a story is it?
So does this mean that humans only thrive with conflict? I don’t enjoy conflict, I don’t like confrontation. Yes, there are times, too many of them unfortunately, that forces a confrontation. People are different, they don’t always agree, if they did we probably wouldn’t have wars. I have this odd trait that makes me always want to TALK to people who don’t agree with me. I really want to try to understand them and their beliefs better (hence the degree in psychology I suppose) but sadly many people don’t want to engage in constructive discussion and be able to agree to disagree. This is also part of the corporate world. Despite the fact that co-workers all work for the same company and in theory all are there to promote the success of the overall organization in most cases they will put their personal agenda before the corporate well being. I know I keep coming back to the corporate world in this blog but I think that most of us work in it without taking a look AT IT. We become so entrenched in our day-to-day corporate world that we don’t take the time to step outside of it and look in the windows for a different view (hey, look down a few posts to my window post). Take some time to look into the windows of your life, whether it’s your job, your home, your friendships and see what view you get from the outside. Would you change things? Would you re-arrange your life furniture? Would you want to know more about the people you see through that window or would you want to hightail it down the street? I still want to know more, I still want to talk to people and find out where their heads are at but mostly because I want them to wonder the same about me. Go ahead, ask me, you may not agree with what I say but I’ll be happy to talk to you about it. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want that crazy level of conflict, do YOU?
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