Mother’s Day Rant

As you may or may not know I am not a mom to any human offspring. Yes, I refer to myself as “mommy” to the three (count ‘em THREE) rescued canines that share our life and, hey, I adopted them and they ARE mammals, right? So “mommy” it is.

I do happen to have a few friends with human offspring (odd, I know). Here’s the thing that drives me completely batshit crazy.

Me: “Hey, wanna get together for lunch on Saturday?”
Friend/Mom of human offspring: “Let me check to see if (insert spousal unit’s name here) can watch the kids”.

See anything wrong with that statement? In these so-called enlightened times where it has recently been reported that more and more women are the primary breadwinner in an American household these same women still need to arrange for childcare with the father of their children. I’m not talking about someone’s baby daddy that doesn’t live with the family I’m talking partnered, MARRIED people.

To further support this situation there is currently a promotional ad running on New York TV for a lifestyle type of show and all of these women are making random statements like “all I wanted was for him to watch the kids for an hour so I could do the laundry”. HUH? She’s trying to wash his stinky drawers and he’s not willing to watch his own kids while she does it?

What is up with this situation? These are the same men that now proudly say dumbass things like “WE’RE PREGNANT!” No you’re not. SHE’S friggin’ pregnant. She’s the one who’s body is changing beyond belief (and often beyond repair); she’s the one who’s hormones are all over the map all you did was get it up and do the deed.

Men, step up! Don’t ASSUME that the kids are HER responsibility. She did her part when she squeezed the little bugger out. And please don’t make a big deal out of it like you deserve an award for watching YOUR OWN DAMN KID!

Women, TELL your darling spouse, “I’m doing, this, that, and the other thing on Saturday and won’t have the kids with me, either plan to care for them or make a plan for someone else to.” Really, time to stop putting your life on hold to raise the kids while he still gets to putter around on the weekends, play golf, go fishing or even mow the lawn. Guess what guys, somehow we’re supposed to clean house and do laundry and cook meals with those little critters hanging off of us so figure out how to get the kid to take a nap so you can hurry through the lawn mowing.

Oh this irritates me like you wouldn’t believe.

Happy Mother’s Day!