What Not to Wear

Business casual is NOT a fashion statement. I HATE business casual! Hate isn’t even a strong enough word for it. Here’s the deal. If you are too fucking stupid to know how to dress appropriately for a given situation then maybe you shouldn’t BE in that situation…and that just might mean a JOB. Some people carry off a pair of jeans better than they will ever look in a pair rumpled pleated khakis.

I’m a jeans and tee-shirt type of gal. I am. Not in a sloppy way, not all the time anyway. I wore jeans, a tee shirt, a scarf and denim jacket to dinner on Saturday night. I thought I looked pretty nice. I don’t look good most days at work but damn it I am within the dress code policy. Where I work the dress code is basically anything but jeans and sneakers 4 out of 5 days of the week. That means I could put my sorry ass into an ill fitting pair of cargo pants and some rundown loafers and not get sent home from the office but if I slipped into a stylin’ pair of skinny jeans, a nice fitting silk tee, a scarf and jacket I’d be talked to by HR and sent home. Oh the horror.

I work with people who look like they raided the sale racks at a super discount store. One guy wears khakis and fleece pullovers every damn day and the fleece all have some slogan from his native land down under on them. He’s a manager. He does NOT look good but somehow he squeeks under the dress code police. More than a few other co-workers make their fashion statements by wearing rundown shoes paired with pilling polyester “suits”. Does this look good? TO ANYONE? No. No it does not look good but again. Technically, it satisfied the constraints of the corporate dress code and is stamped with a seal of approval.

BUY A MIRROR PEOPLE. Really, fork out that $20 at Home Depot and BUY A MIRROR, the long one that shows ALL the fashion mistakes in one sweeping image.

I’m on a crusade to not ever buy anymore business casual clothes. I don’t wear them except to work. I have a lot of clothes in my closet that are only there because I need something to wear to work 4 days a week (the fifth day being jeans and sneakers day). I don’t want to fritter away any more money on clothes that I just hate; that I feel icky in. Icky is the only way I can describe the way khakis or other biz casual stuff makes me feel.

I know it seemed like a good idea when the whole business casual thing started. Biz casual is certainly better than wearing suits to work, I’ll have to agree with that but the real issue is that it just isn’t necessary anymore. Steve Jobs seems comfy in his “uniform” of dark jeans (black I think) and a turtleneck and no one is gonna be offended to sit down in a meeting with Mr. Jobs if he isn’t wearing khakis.

If I’m doing the job why does anyone care what I’m wearing to do it? Oh I hate, hate, hate, HATE business casual. Please rally ‘round me and encourage me to make it to retirement with the same hideous crop of biz casual rags that are currently hanging in my closet. I can say that since I’ve started this project I feel that I’ve already started saving more money because despite the fact that I know I won’t wear something except for work I would still buy stuff. I’d still find myself buying some awful thing and saying, “oh, THIS might be nice”. Nice for WHAT? Tuesday? Nah. If I hate it anyway…then let me hate what I already own and look towards a jeans and tee-shirt retirement.

And you kids out there…as you enter the business world think focus on the work at hand not the fashion statement made by wearing business casual. We have a lot of clean up to do in the business world these days, let’s dispense with bad fashion and focus more on ethical business practices.