Fork you!

I swear to you my husband never uses less than two forks to eat dinner at home and that's a slow night he averages three forks per dinner but he's actually managed to go through the whole place setting of 8 forks in a given night. Just to clear things up here it's not like he's ripping through these utensils because we're tucking into a formal meal in the dining room and I've carefully laid out the knives and forks for each course…oh nooooooooooooooo, it's nothing nearly so fancy, he just manages to grab a clean fork every time he does anything approaching food.

Look if you live with anyone they'll have quirks and habits that will ultimately drive you bananas; it doesn't matter if it's your kid(s) or your spouse or a roommate they all do SOMETHING that makes you twitch. Of course that's a two way street. None of us are without fault in the eyes of others, seriously folks it's okay to look in the mirror and acknowledge that sometimes you do annoying shit but it's YOUR annoying shit and I'm not talking about MY annoying shit here…I'm talking about HIS annoying shit.

Let me state up front that I love my husband. I do. There are many reasons to love the man. He's kind-hearted, he loves our nearly unlovable dogs, he's sweet (to me anyway), he's handsome (he has all his hair at 47!), he's an all-around good guy (he even keeps his car clean…I do NOT keep my car clean, which I know is an annoying habit of mine).

Now that I've put the disclaimer out there though there's those OTHER THINGS that drive me batshit crazy. Most of those things revolve around food. Many of them are specific to dinner (but it does bleed into breakfast, lunch and snacks).

The forks, oh the forks.

Here's the thing, he'll grab a fork to taste something then set it aside, inevitably he's got to heat something "extra" in the microwave and that will involve tossing in some butter (actually some "I can't believe it's not butter") or olive oil…and stirring with a FORK…a different fork from the previous fork. We usually each make a plate of food on the kitchen counter then eat at the kitchen island a few feet away, sure 'nuff he'll dish up his plate…and grab another fork! Oh yes he will and if you've been counting that is FORK NUMBER THREE and that's how we get to three forks for an average weekday dinner.

What the hell is up with that?

There are other dinner rituals but that's for another time, for now, it's been another 3-fork-Thursday here at the ol' homestead (bless that man, I do love him).