Storage Bin Sunday

We've lived through Black Friday and Cyber Monday to get to today…Storage Bin Sunday. Apparently the Sunday closest to January 6^th is the day everyone shops frantically for storage bins. Now this clearly makes sense for those cute young newlyweds I saw today debating over the proper storage vessel for their C'mas tree. Obviously their first married C'mas (the years they were living together don't count, I'm sure mom didn't give them their "first C'mas together" ornament until the papers were signed) as a happily married couple.

The storage bin business is a confusing one for me but it seems to be quite lucrative. It was the first time in my life I actually yearned for a Container Store to open near me (the nearest one is pretty far away, I looked it up).

Apparently, Bed, Bath and Beyond is the local stand-in for a "Container Store" and they were nearly cleaned out of anything storage bin related and more specifically C'mas storage bin related (which is a whole other storage bin subset complete with red/green bin lids) but what they did have left was fascinating. I was able to buy a storage bag for our pre-lit fake C'mas tree (sweet, right?) that was easily big enough to stash Big Pussy in for the Soprano's episode where he goes to sleep with the fishies off the Jersey coastline. No shit, this bag was HUGE! Then there was the wreath bag (holds a wreath up to 36" in diameter), it even had a lovely embroidered "Santa's Bags" logo on it. The ornament bins were my favorite, various size cardboard section thingys to individually nestle each of my cheap glass ornaments! So great.

Of course revealing that I was out storage bin shopping means that I was out shopping and that wasn't pretty. Shopping is like a hobby for me, its heart healthy (hey, I'M WALKING AREN'T I?), it gets me out of the house…it's a good time. But recently I've had to fend off the many oblivious and self-absorbed people that share my passion for shopping. I'm savvy enough to have tweaked my shopping skills to the point where I can wear a small purse messenger style and wear my keys on a lanyard around my neck leaving both hands free to quickly and efficiently flip through cheap cashmere on the clearance rack at Marshall's (I actually hate cashmere but will gift it to others…if the price is right). At least 3 people today made the broad assumption that I worked there.

The 2^nd person was my personal favorite (the 1^st isn't even worth noting). I was browsing the dog toy aisle hoping to score some new toys for the furkids. I felt someone staring at me but didn't bother to look up, I was trying to decide which no-stuffing toy I wanted (the zebra or the raccoon…the zebra ultimately won out). The staring quickly led to throat clearing. I figured I must be blocking her path to the dog toys so I politely scooched in, we should all get to share in the wealth of discount, upscale dog toys right?

That didn't do it so finally the woman let out a disgusted sigh and said, "I'm WAITING for you to help me". Really? Why? I don't even know you, are you in distress? Those were the thoughts in my head, well, those and, "you bitch, move on with yo' bad self, can't you see I'm shopping here?"

I straightened up and turned to the woman and just looked at her. She said, "well if you're not going to ask to help me I'll ask you where I can find the bedskirts." I said, "well how the hell would I know?" To which she replied, "YOU work here."
"Nope, no I don't. I don't work here."

The best part was that instead of apologizing she said, "well why do you look like you work here then?"

HUH?

I asked her what she was talking about and she pointed to my keys.

"Yes, I have keys on a lanyard around my neck. You are correct. However I don't see a single other employee wearing a giant ring of keys and about 30 frequent shopper key fobs on a lanyard around their neck, for that matter I know for a fact that retail employees can't be wearing a purse on duty" (but there I was with my hand little bag slung messenger style).

She still didn't apologize, she seemed to be insinuating that she was going to hail the retail police and accuse me of impersonating a retail store clerk.

I turned back to my shopping.

Two aisles away a woman and her granddaughter were fussing with some bags when I wandered by. Now I had 3 dog toys dangling off my arm and some bright blue oven mitts as well, I guess I could've been back shopping these items but doesn't that usually happen with a cart (and a Marshall's name tag on my chest)?

"Excuse me ma'am, could you help us figure out this bag?"

"Sure I can but you do know I don't WORK HERE, right?"

"YOU DON'T? Oh, oh, ummm, so sorry…but you can help us with this bag?"

"Sure, what's the problem?"

"Why is this snap here?"

"Oh that's easy, this is a hot/cold re-usable grocery bag and you can fold it up when not in use and snap it closed."

"WOW, thanks!"

(Another couple walks up…)

"Did you say that was a hot/cold grocery bag, how does it work?"

"Well, there are instructions inside but basically if you put cold food in it the food will stay cold for about 4 hours, same with hot food. It's also great to put warm towels in if you're doing a polar plunge!"

All I ask people is that you get your heads out of your butts and show a small amount of awareness of the world around you (and maybe take a lesson from a shopping maven such as myself about the easiest way to shop with both hands free). Before ASSUMING that someone who is shopping with two hands is a store employee look for a telltale nametag or some other actual identifying tag before rudely demanding they conjure up a bedskirt to meet your every whim.

Happy Storage Bin Sunday to one and all!